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  • Writer's pictureShameena Domingo

The Power of Visibility: Why Being Seen is Key to Finding Love

Updated: Apr 22


We are afraid of being seen, because we are afraid of being rejected. We are afraid of being vulnerable, because we are afraid of being hurt. So, we hide our light, we dim our shine, and we try to make ourselves small.


But this is a losing game. Because when we hide our light, we also hide our love. And when we hide our love, we cut ourselves off from the very thing that we crave most: connection.


To be seen is to be vulnerable. It is to open ourselves up to the possibility of rejection. But it is also to open ourselves up to the possibility of love. To be seen is to be loved. It is to be accepted for who we are, flaws and all. It is to be cherished and valued for our unique gifts.


This quote speaks to our deepest fear, which is not that we are not good enough, but rather that we are too powerful. We are afraid of our own light, our own potential, and our own ability to shine.


**Our Deepest Fear: To Be Seen and Be Rejected

Marianne Williamson's iconic words, 'Our deepest fear is to be seen and be rejected. To be seen and not loved. So, most of us don't let anybody see us,' resonate deeply within us all. It's a raw and poignant truth that captures our greatest vulnerability: the fear of being unlovable.

 


**The Problem with Not Being Seen

The problem with not being seen is that we never going to be loved. If we hide our light, if we dim our shine, if we try to make ourselves small, then no one will ever see us. And if no one ever sees us, then no one will ever love us. We cannot expect to be loved if we are not willing to be seen. We cannot expect to be accepted if we are not willing to be vulnerable. We cannot expect to be cherished if we are not willing to share our gifts and talents with the world.


**The Fear of Rejection

Rejection is an inherent part of human experience. We all experience it at some point in our lives, whether it's in romantic relationships, friendships, or professional settings. The fear of rejection is often triggered by the belief that we are not good enough, not worthy of love or acceptance. When we allow this fear to control us, we hide our true selves from the world. We put on a mask and pretend to be someone we're not, hoping to avoid being judged or cast aside. But this strategy, while it may prevent rejection in the short term, ultimately comes at a great cost.


**The Importance of Being Seen

Being seen means allowing others to witness our genuine selves, to know our flaws and vulnerabilities as well as our strengths and passions. It means taking off the mask and showing the world who we truly are. When we are seen, we create a space for connection and intimacy. We allow others to know us on a deeper level, which fosters trust and understanding. Being seen also allows us to receive love and acceptance for who we truly are, not for the facade we present.


**The Paradox of Rejection

Ironically, the very thing we fear most, rejection, is what ultimately leads to the love and connection we crave. By hiding from the world, we deprive ourselves of the opportunity to experience the beauty and fulfillment that comes from being seen and loved for who we are.


**Overcoming Our Fear

Overcoming the fear of rejection is not an easy task. It requires courage, vulnerability, and a deep belief in our own worth. Here are a few steps to help you:

* Identify your triggers: Understand the situations or people that trigger your fear of rejection.

* Challenge your negative beliefs: Examine the thoughts that contribute to your fear. Are they based on evidence or are they simply assumptions?

* Practice self-acceptance: Learn to love and accept yourself unconditionally, flaws and all.

* Take small steps: Start by sharing small parts of yourself with trusted individuals.

* Remember that rejection is part of life: Not everyone will love or accept us, and that's okay. The important thing is to focus on those who do.

 

Conclusion

Our deepest fear is not to be seen and be rejected, but to live a life unseen and unloved. By embracing vulnerability, overcoming our fear, and allowing ourselves to be seen, we open ourselves up to the possibility of experiencing the love, connection, and fulfillment we all deserve. As Rumi said, 'The wound is where the light enters.' Let us embrace the pain of rejection and allow it to guide us towards the love and acceptance that awaits us when we dare to be fully seen.


So, let's not be afraid to be seen. Let's not be afraid to shine our light. Let's not be afraid to be loved. Because when we are seen, we are loved. And when we are loved, we are whole.

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